I have never thought about being pregnant before. I always thought it was this really joyous time. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I am extremely happy. But I just never considered all of the first trimester woes that come along with pregnancy. I don't think I have ever doubted my body more than now, I just want to protect and keep this child safe, and I don't want anything to happen to it. So any time my body does something abnormal, I freak out for a few seconds. Then I get over it until the next spew of new feelings in my body.
Ultimately, this has been such a crazy experience. I am at a time right now where I am not really growing much but I know my little one is safely inside just kicking and growing along. It is such a humbling experience. I am so blessed to be in this moment. To have to trust so fully with everything in my being.
I promised to give pregnancy updates to family, and well those will start coming now, sorry for the delay! Pictures to follow...
Cravings: Lays Ruffled Potato Chips, Sour Cream and Onion Chips, Doritos, icing, Dr. Pepper, Clementines, Avocados, Taco Bell.
No, these are not all combined or ever wanted at the same time, but these have been my cravings so far.
Current Cravings: Chocolate (which I have never been the biggest fan of) and on Friday I will be craving In-n-out because I get to have it on Saturday!!!
Growth: I have not grown much maybe like 1/2 an inch growth of belly so far.
Emotional?: Not overly emotional anymore thankfully.
Morning Sickness?: Nope, I think that I am finally over the hill of nausea. Praise God.
Finding out the sex? YES, are you kidding me I can't last. ha. Maybe next kid will be a surprise!
Elizabeth's feeling of what the baby is?: Girl
Will she tell Christopher? no
Christopher's feeling: Boy.
divided household
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Just another turn
Being pregnant is such a weird feeling. It doesn't feel real in all honestly. Yes we have seen the baby and heard the heart beat... but still it just seems crazy.
Yes, I did consent to this, yes I did vow to have children with C. Yes, I knew this day would come. But now that this day is here it is such a crazy feeling to think there is a human being growing inside of me. I am meerly a tabernacle for it, keeping it safe, providing nutrients and helping the growth. You can read a million things and everything tells you the size of the baby, whats developing, how they could be moving inside you but you just can't feel it yet. All of this is happening inside of me, right now and I don't feel a thing.
Its crazy to think that endless days of staring at the inside of a toilet, barely eating breakfast, gaining weight and getting a pooch defines pregnancy. Its truly beautiful and honestly so humbling. I have a human growing in me, and there have been many times I have sat and been mad at the way I am feeling or the way that others make me feel. There are many times that I am annoyed beyond wits end and just want to scream, cry and yell every bad word in the book. Its a fact, this pregnancy is teaching me so much about myself and is making me learn so much about myself.
Someone recently told me that pregnancy is the most spiritual time of your life, and I haven't gotten there yet. But I have realized that this pregnancy is making me become more one with myself and helping me learn more about me than I ever thought I would learn.
Pregnancy is a wild world of crazy, but man has it been a ride. Here's to more of the adventure. Here's to more speed bumps, road blocks, detours and yields. This pregnancy, this baby, is just another turn in the road. Just like so many things in our life can be...
Yes, I did consent to this, yes I did vow to have children with C. Yes, I knew this day would come. But now that this day is here it is such a crazy feeling to think there is a human being growing inside of me. I am meerly a tabernacle for it, keeping it safe, providing nutrients and helping the growth. You can read a million things and everything tells you the size of the baby, whats developing, how they could be moving inside you but you just can't feel it yet. All of this is happening inside of me, right now and I don't feel a thing.
Its crazy to think that endless days of staring at the inside of a toilet, barely eating breakfast, gaining weight and getting a pooch defines pregnancy. Its truly beautiful and honestly so humbling. I have a human growing in me, and there have been many times I have sat and been mad at the way I am feeling or the way that others make me feel. There are many times that I am annoyed beyond wits end and just want to scream, cry and yell every bad word in the book. Its a fact, this pregnancy is teaching me so much about myself and is making me learn so much about myself.
Someone recently told me that pregnancy is the most spiritual time of your life, and I haven't gotten there yet. But I have realized that this pregnancy is making me become more one with myself and helping me learn more about me than I ever thought I would learn.
Pregnancy is a wild world of crazy, but man has it been a ride. Here's to more of the adventure. Here's to more speed bumps, road blocks, detours and yields. This pregnancy, this baby, is just another turn in the road. Just like so many things in our life can be...
Saturday, December 1, 2012
its official
We finally made the announcement that we are having a baby.
A lot of debate came with announcing it on Facebook. We were apprehensive due to the fact that our phones would never stop beeping, lighting up, or vibrating. After serious consideration, we decided to announce it and we are overjoyed at all of the love that has been shown through this.
Over the past 8 weeks it has been quite the whirlwind. I'll be honest this hasn't been the best of weeks. The first trimester has kicked my butt, I am pretty sure all of the moms at the school think that I am either deathly ill, a freak, or that I am pregnant. I am still trying to hide it from them, but as everyone knows I am not the best liar. Scratch that, I STINK at it.
Also over the past 8 weeks, we told family which brought laughter, shock, tears and happiness. We told friends which brought along shared joy and laughter as well. The best of this all though with friends was spending a weekend at a wedding trying to still hide the fact that I am pregnant. When mixing drinking, a secret and happiness. Stuff comes out which leads to hilarious memories, great conversations, and some awkward moments. Like when someone placed their hand on my stomach and said 'babyyyyy' as another friend was standing there. Sometimes life is just too funny.
Lastly pregnancy has brought about one of the most common symptoms of cravings. Oh how Christopher is a saint for not the combinations of food I eat but for HOW MUCH I eat. I have craved everything from Chips Ahoy cookies to icing, Lays Chips. Its amazing what I eat and how much I eat of them!
Pregnancy has been a struggle and a beautiful thing so far. I am still a little in disbelief that we are having a baby. But I am so excited about this little blessing in our lives. I am so blessed with an amazing and supportive husband who puts up with a pregnant wife.
What a ride pregnancy has been so far...Bring on the next two trimesters...
A lot of debate came with announcing it on Facebook. We were apprehensive due to the fact that our phones would never stop beeping, lighting up, or vibrating. After serious consideration, we decided to announce it and we are overjoyed at all of the love that has been shown through this.
Over the past 8 weeks it has been quite the whirlwind. I'll be honest this hasn't been the best of weeks. The first trimester has kicked my butt, I am pretty sure all of the moms at the school think that I am either deathly ill, a freak, or that I am pregnant. I am still trying to hide it from them, but as everyone knows I am not the best liar. Scratch that, I STINK at it.
Also over the past 8 weeks, we told family which brought laughter, shock, tears and happiness. We told friends which brought along shared joy and laughter as well. The best of this all though with friends was spending a weekend at a wedding trying to still hide the fact that I am pregnant. When mixing drinking, a secret and happiness. Stuff comes out which leads to hilarious memories, great conversations, and some awkward moments. Like when someone placed their hand on my stomach and said 'babyyyyy' as another friend was standing there. Sometimes life is just too funny.
Lastly pregnancy has brought about one of the most common symptoms of cravings. Oh how Christopher is a saint for not the combinations of food I eat but for HOW MUCH I eat. I have craved everything from Chips Ahoy cookies to icing, Lays Chips. Its amazing what I eat and how much I eat of them!
Pregnancy has been a struggle and a beautiful thing so far. I am still a little in disbelief that we are having a baby. But I am so excited about this little blessing in our lives. I am so blessed with an amazing and supportive husband who puts up with a pregnant wife.
What a ride pregnancy has been so far...Bring on the next two trimesters...
Friday, November 16, 2012
regret
I don't have many regrets in my life.
I have a 40 minute drive home and usually on Friday I think about what I regret in life.
I don't dwell, (even though it sounds like it).
I regret not calling my Grandmother more before she died. She died unexpectedly and the one thing I regret and hate that I didn't do more is call her. Oh what I would do for one more hug, kiss, or conversation with her.
The second thing I regret is not letting my brothers get ready with me on my wedding day. I thought I was doing what was best, letting them get ready with the guys... but I would have done anything to have them there. Even though I would have been 200 times more emotional than I was that day.
The third and final one is that I don't spend more time talking to people on the phone. I realize now how important it is. And I refuse to let this ever happen again.
no more regrets. no turning back.
I have a 40 minute drive home and usually on Friday I think about what I regret in life.
I don't dwell, (even though it sounds like it).
I regret not calling my Grandmother more before she died. She died unexpectedly and the one thing I regret and hate that I didn't do more is call her. Oh what I would do for one more hug, kiss, or conversation with her.
The second thing I regret is not letting my brothers get ready with me on my wedding day. I thought I was doing what was best, letting them get ready with the guys... but I would have done anything to have them there. Even though I would have been 200 times more emotional than I was that day.
The third and final one is that I don't spend more time talking to people on the phone. I realize now how important it is. And I refuse to let this ever happen again.
no more regrets. no turning back.
Monday, October 29, 2012
my husbands a hero.
The last thing I said to C as he walked out the door 15 minutes ago was, "babe, you're my hero. I love you." Those words could not be more true than right now. My husband, a volunteer firefighter is going out on his second shift of the day to be on standby.
Against everything I am, especially since this is my first hurricane-ish storm, I let him go. Being a firefighter is one of the most selfless acts a man/woman can do. They are offering all that they are for the sake of other people of whom they have never met. I can say those words and thoughts have never made me more proud.
My husband is out, while the winds are rocking the trees against our windows, as the rain pours down like a faucet and as many people's houses are being compromised. I am sitting at home terrified to lose power and terrified that something bad may happen. But I have all faith and confidence that he is safe and will be safe.
C, I have never been more proud of a man in my life. Here is to all the firefighters, EMS, policemen and service men. I could not be more grateful for the love and support you have for each other. And how much you love and how selfless you are. What better way, whether you know it or not, to emulate our Lord. You are selflessly and humbly serving others. What an inspiration and example.
Makes me want to live my life like a firefighter now. Not in the living on the edge running into fires kind of way, but the living in reckless abandon, with a faith like no other, and such a selflessness to your person. wow.
take that hurricane sandy.
Against everything I am, especially since this is my first hurricane-ish storm, I let him go. Being a firefighter is one of the most selfless acts a man/woman can do. They are offering all that they are for the sake of other people of whom they have never met. I can say those words and thoughts have never made me more proud.
My husband is out, while the winds are rocking the trees against our windows, as the rain pours down like a faucet and as many people's houses are being compromised. I am sitting at home terrified to lose power and terrified that something bad may happen. But I have all faith and confidence that he is safe and will be safe.
C, I have never been more proud of a man in my life. Here is to all the firefighters, EMS, policemen and service men. I could not be more grateful for the love and support you have for each other. And how much you love and how selfless you are. What better way, whether you know it or not, to emulate our Lord. You are selflessly and humbly serving others. What an inspiration and example.
Makes me want to live my life like a firefighter now. Not in the living on the edge running into fires kind of way, but the living in reckless abandon, with a faith like no other, and such a selflessness to your person. wow.
take that hurricane sandy.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Teaching
As I teach, I find that I see some of my students complete resemble me and show their true colors in my class. One of my students specifically, I have been trying to narrow down how there is that certain familiarity in her. I finally realized this week, I see her as the exact replica of what I was when I was in 2nd grade. I knew every Religion and Catechism answer, I wanted to be the one reading out loud all the time, and I wanted to be the one laughing all the time.
I find that each week I am seeing how much children laughing is contagious and as much as I teach at such an amazing and beautiful faith filled school that I think that instead of them being taught by me, they are secretly teaching me so much more.
When we pray every morning I am seeing just how much the Lord truly wants me to learn from them, I am seeing that their reckless abandon in the Lord is amazing and something, as an adult, we can only desire and want constantly.
I am amazed at how much I am learning from my students and how much I truly love them, even if they may be driving me up a wall. They are truly bringing me into this year of faith with a strength and desire to want and yearn for more in the Lord and in this faith. It's something I have wanted for a long time but never thought that eleven 7 and 8 year olds would teach me.
I always need to remember that a little laughter goes a long way.
I find that each week I am seeing how much children laughing is contagious and as much as I teach at such an amazing and beautiful faith filled school that I think that instead of them being taught by me, they are secretly teaching me so much more.
When we pray every morning I am seeing just how much the Lord truly wants me to learn from them, I am seeing that their reckless abandon in the Lord is amazing and something, as an adult, we can only desire and want constantly.
I am amazed at how much I am learning from my students and how much I truly love them, even if they may be driving me up a wall. They are truly bringing me into this year of faith with a strength and desire to want and yearn for more in the Lord and in this faith. It's something I have wanted for a long time but never thought that eleven 7 and 8 year olds would teach me.
I always need to remember that a little laughter goes a long way.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
to things anew
i realize that everything I do is a new adventure. From trying a new activity with my 2nd graders to making dinner for c. From trying to dress warmly enough for fall weather to realizing the Lord has far better plans for me and has me in this city, at this school, with my husband for reasons I may have no reason for. BUT the Lord has way bigger reasons that I may never see or know, but it is a blessing to know that I am where I am for a reason.
This new adventure of two months has been crazy and wild. It has been a whirlwind but in all honesty and truthfulness, I love it. I am loving every single moment even when things aren't the easiest. The Lord has blessed me more than I know and I couldn't be happier.
This new adventure of two months has been crazy and wild. It has been a whirlwind but in all honesty and truthfulness, I love it. I am loving every single moment even when things aren't the easiest. The Lord has blessed me more than I know and I couldn't be happier.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
today I start anew...
Today. Today began the rest of my life. Today was the day where I officially became a 'big kid' and began my real job. I am now a second grade teacher and is something that when I was in college I believed that would come someday. Who knew that 'someday' was finally here and was beginning. Everyone keeps asking me how was it and if it was great? Well of course it was, but it was so darn scary.
I created this blog to get my words out of my head. I never know if anyone will read this besides me, and who knows maybe one day this will be just for my family to read. But putting all that is going on in my head is necessary for words.
I am suddenly realizing that our lives go by before us in a flash. We got married a month ago and it feels like I got married 10 years ago. I feel like I have been working my whole life and everything doesn't necessarily feel new anymore. I am slowly noticing that every day we spend with someone could be our last and why not reflect, write upon it, and love every moment we can about that time. So this blog has sprouted from constant thoughts and reminiscing on good times. I hope (if there is anyone reading this) that you enjoy what I am writing.
tata for now.
e.
I created this blog to get my words out of my head. I never know if anyone will read this besides me, and who knows maybe one day this will be just for my family to read. But putting all that is going on in my head is necessary for words.
I am suddenly realizing that our lives go by before us in a flash. We got married a month ago and it feels like I got married 10 years ago. I feel like I have been working my whole life and everything doesn't necessarily feel new anymore. I am slowly noticing that every day we spend with someone could be our last and why not reflect, write upon it, and love every moment we can about that time. So this blog has sprouted from constant thoughts and reminiscing on good times. I hope (if there is anyone reading this) that you enjoy what I am writing.
tata for now.
e.
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