inspiration.

On Monday, I got something called a Happy Mommy Box. It was the sweetest thing ever and had items just for me and E. One of the gifts inside of it was a necklace by Caroline G. I started to follow this woman on Instagram, and needless to say, she inspired me. She has been giving away coffees at Starbucks, Balloons just because. It is truly an inspiration. 

So many times in our day to day routine we are just stagnant and trying to get by. I know that I come home and see E and am more than excited. But I find myself in this rut every day. I am dragging my feet through the day and just trying to get to Friday for the weekend. But this week changed after getting the necklace from Caroline G and from seeing her Instagram account. 

So after seeing this, it inspired me. Why aren't we doing more things just out of the kindness of our hearts? Why aren't we motivated to do things for others, just because. On Thursday I started my day by buying a coffee for the man behind me at Dunkin Donuts. I didn't know him. He didn't ask for it. I am sure that it was just his routine coffee day. I wanted to do something nice. 

This changed my day. It gave me a new perspective. I was so happy and I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face. It motivated me and drove me that day. Why aren't we doing more random acts of kindness in our weekly routines and day to day routines. 

So now, I have made the decision that once a week. Once a week, I am going to start doing a random act of kindness. Someone could be having the worst day ever. Someone could just need a little love in their life. Could you imagine what could happen if everyone started doing one random act of kindness a week? 

I hope that I can show someone love by my actions. 

make this place your home.

I'm gonna make this place your home...

It is coming upon the one year anniversary of my Grandma passing away. One year ago, one of the most loving and beautiful women I know was prepping for a trip to California from Arkansas. She started the trip on July 16 and was in a car accident and was killed immediately. This was one of the hardest days of my life. My grandma was coming to my wedding, she was coming to celebrate me and my soon to be husband. I was devastated. Hate to say it, I still am. I still remember what I was doing at that specific moment when my dad called to tell me to go home. Immediately. The minute I hung up, I looked at c and said, "I think my Grandma died." He was so unsure how I knew, but I knew. I still remember seeing my brother's truck as I pulled up, I still remember my mom putting the groceries away in the freezer, and I still remember the tone in her voice when she told me. I even remember when the parish coordinator came over to give his condolences. Every single bit of that day will never fade from me. I honestly relive it every time I think about it.

Now, you may be wondering why I am bringing up such a morbid and hard time in my life. I am sure that some of you (whoever reads this) have heard the song, Home by Phillip Phillips. The first lines of his song are, "hold on to me as we go. As we roll down this unfamiliar road." Yes, grief and death are a daily and natural occurrence-but when it is happening to you, it is the most unfamiliar road you can go down. No matter how many funerals you have been to, it is always a new road of grief and hurt that you go down.

Next, Phillip Phillips sings; " And althought this wave is stringing us along, Just know your not alone, Cause I'm gonna make this place your home." This wave of grief is still with me, I am still sad and upset a year later. But this wave I am on, has helped me through so much. This grief and reality of my Grandma going to meet the Lord has become my home. It's the home and reality I live in.

C and I got married 11 days later, as hard and devestating it was not having her at our wedding, we know she had a front row seat with the Big Man upstairs. And ever since our wedding day and ever since the day she passed the Lord has allowed so many people to love us, so many people to comfort us and has showed me so many ways to make this reality my life and home.

motherhood

Now that the hustle and bustle is over. We have a beautiful baby girl, and we couldn't be happier.

Many say, "I don't want to be like my mother or father when I grow up." There are little quirks and mannerisms that maybe push us off to not want to be like them in that way. I can honestly say I never said that, or at least I don't remember saying that... My mom is my best friend and yes sometimes we drive each other nuts, but needless to say I don't know where I would be without her. I never realized quite how much I was like my mother though, until Emmalynn came along. I can see the way I talk to Emmalynn, the way I love her and even the way I interact with others makes me a spinning image of my mother.

It's amazing how this plays out in our lives. Growing up I thought that I would be totally different, never show this much similarity to my mother. But lo and behold here I am a mother myself, and following in a great example of motherhoods footsteps.

Motherhood has been such a gift and blessing, I only pray that I can live out the love and beauty that my mother so constantly showed me. She was a true example of Mary's love and I pray that I can love Emmalynn the way my mother showed me how to love.


Here's to motherhood.

moving on

On Friday/Saturday my childhood home will no longer be 'home' for me. I know there shouldn't be this much attachment to something material, but so many memories and milestones have happened in that house.

From one of my closest friends pulling around the corner at 12 am to get IN N OUT because it was just one of those days, to laying a blanket out back to look at the stars... from sitting with family on the back porch to pouring my heart out to a boy in the living room that I would soon come to know would break my heart (not c)...from hearing my brothers play guitar in the hallway (as I was supposed to be asleep) to practicing basketball in the garage to hopefully make the team...which I didn't. From coming home for the first time in college... to getting ready for my wedding day.I could go on for days and if the walls could talk, I am sure they would have more stories that I could put into words. Those walls hold so many memories, so much love, they just hold so much.

It brings me so much joy to know the family that will be moving into my childhood home... and it makes me realize that 'home' is only a word that we define. Home isn't necessarily a location. Home is a place you find in your heart. Home is a million locations. Home is an hour long conversation with your older brother when you have only ever talked for 10 minutes on the phone. Home is calling mom every day. Home is picture messages of your nieces and nephews. Home is what you make it to be.

It is a great realization as I start to finish preparing for our little Junebug to come into our lives. I have begun to start thinking how this is her first home. It won't be her forever home and she won't have the attachment of this apartment as I did...


but eventually I pray she comes to the realization that home is truly where we are. Home is where we find our comfort. Sure in Rancho Cucamonga and all that is in it, will always be my 'hometown' and will always be where I grew up and will always have a very very special place in my heart. But I am so glad to be realizing that 'home' isn't necessarily that house that I lived in for 23 years.


Home is so much more.




----------------------------------
38weeks.
just waiting.
fudge ripple ice cream. yum.
her room...done.
momma. prepared.
daddy. prepared.
maternity leave. started.
ready for her? yes.
absolute days she can't come. June 1-June 2.

beauty

Its been a while since I last posted. I have realized that I yearn to write, there are many times daily that I want to just write for hours about how a certain topic may make me feel or what is going through my head. But so many times I just drop it to see what more can come from these thoughts.

My past weekend made me feel so special. My mother-in-law planned a surprise shower for me which led to my mother surprising me and one of my closest friends. It was beautiful and made me realize how blessed I am to have such amazing women in my life.

Junebug is going to be blessed beyond belief when she comes, and she already is. She has such beautiful examples of love and such beautiful women to look up to the rest of her life.

Besides such a wonderful weekend full of surprises. I realized that this is how every woman should feel, especially during pregnancy. Every woman should feel so overwhelmed by love and prayers that there isn't a doubt in her mind that this is what she is made to do and to be. My heart this weekend was overflowed with beauty, love, prayers, and gratefulness. So tell me why doesn't every woman feel this in her heart as she is preparing to welcome her new babe into this world? It is a shame how woman are seen and treated in today's world.

Pregnancy and motherhood are seen as wonderful and beautiful things but so many people see it as such a shame to be pregnant so young. So many people, as many have seen, see pregnancy as something to be over and done with, rather than what we are called as women to do and be. It is a shame how woman are looked down in society and how we are seen as shameful and that this time is not seen as the beautiful and wonderful thing that pregnancy and becoming a mother really is. Every woman should feel loved and showered with such beauty and love.

I am thankful that I am surrounded by such love and beauty.



___________________________
34 weeks.
we chose a name.
I can't wait to meet her.
I am not nervous but so excited.
The idea of labor scares me but I am ready.
We are starting to prep the room and paint the walls.
C and I have fallen more in love with each other over this precious time.
I am so grateful for such a loving and supportive man that makes me feel so special.
I have gained enough weight.
I want to start working out more.
I have gone through craving: peanut butter cookies, milkshakes, iced tea and ice.
The people at Panera know me by name now.
Panera has the best peanut butter cookies.

I am in love with this life.

lent.

Lent has truly been a hard journey for me this year. I never realized that being pregnant could put such a different spin on lent for me. Well, it did. It also got me to start thinking about lent and how we offer something up or we do something more in our day to day lives. I decided to offer something up during this lent, I thought that this was going to be the most beneficial for me. But boy way I wrong.

Over the past two weeks I have been realizing how the Lord wanted me to do something else for my commitment during lent. Speak up and do something more that may last longer than Lent, Stop putting on makeup, only looking in the mirror to ensure I look presentable for work. Because what I had picked was no longer challenging me, so the Lord challenged me to do more, to take up something that would challenge me. It's amazing how the Lord makes sure that we are in the right desert for ourselves. Its beautiful to see my journey and see how I got challenged more just at different times. Or how being pregnant you can't always do the norm, so you get challenged in many other ways.

Lent has been a journey, yes it is almost over, but I am going to make sure these last days truly count.

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Pregnant update.

29 weeks
Gained 22 pounds
I weigh more that I ever have.
No specific cravings.


It is truly amazing to go through lent, which is such a time of sadness and the time of the desert to feel such life moving inside of me. She is quite active and lets me know constantly that she is in there and loving it in there, growing more and more each day. It has been a beautiful way and journey to experience lent and I am grateful for the experience.

time to be fed.

While at Franny, I joined this absolutely wonderful household (its a faith based group of the same gender that get together to pray and bond together), it was called Love of the Lamb. Its funny how you can be in a household for such a long period of time and still not quite understand everything.

This past week when teaching my students I realized that I still had so much to learn. We were talking about the Good Shepherd and how he feeds his sheep. Most of the students understood how Jesus feeds His sheep through the Eucharist, but it is so much more than that. Their pure amazement that Jesus feeds us through every sacrament, even made me think if I knew this information. Which I did, but a reminder can never ever hurt.

The Lord feeds us in so many ways, in Baptism we are given the grace to make us part of God's Family. Confession gives us grace to overcome our sins. Confirmations gives us the gifts of the Holy Spirit to live as Catholics. Holy Orders allows for priests to be able to feed our souls. Marriage gives us the grace to help one another be faithful to God and to get each other to heaven. Anointing of the sick gives us grace to unify ourselves with Christ. Isn't that beautiful? I never thought of the Lord feeding us through all the sacraments, yet its so beautiful.

When I was at Fran, I really individually focused on the Lamb and the suffering of the Lamb, the sacrificial part of the Lamb, rather than looking to the whole imagery and beauty of the Lamb and what all it means. I should have looked past this all and dove in more, seen what the Lord wanted from His sheep. To show me how he wanted to feed me, and how he still wants to feed me on a daily basis. It is now my turn to take the step and 'eat the food'--go to daily mass, confession as much as possible, truly live out the sacraments.

 Its my turn to be fed.

The Good Shepherd feeds his sheep, are you willing to be fed through all the sacraments as well?

firsts

Life is full of firsts. I went on my first field trip this week as a teacher, I went to my first seminar for teaching, we had our first car trouble as a married couple, we are having our first child, we had our first shower a few weeks ago, we went to our first Russian Orthodox Baptism... Our lives have been full of firsts.

This past week C and I experienced our first trial...car trouble. I know car trouble doesn't seem like a trial, and it probably isn't but in the moment it was. Everyday after school I leave around 3:30pm. I want to miss traffic and get home to my loving husband. This specific day we had a faculty meeting and right as I am walking into the meeting I got a text message letting me know that C's car won't start and he's trying to figure it out. During this meeting I had no idea what my headmaster was saying because all I could think about was what could possibly lie ahead. The meeting ended and after about 30 minutes of waiting we figured that me driving to pick C up would be the best option. For all of you that have had car troubles you know that its something that you can't handle, its something that happens and you just have to deal with. I got to C and we had determined that his car had to go to the shop, it didn't start, wouldn't move, nothing. On our trip home I couldn't help but try and figure out what was going to happen next... but you can't in these situations, in these situations everything is out of your control. You just try to keep your sanity during that time. C looked over at me grabbed my hand and just held on...

Sometimes things are just out of our control. First experiences can be scary. Some first experiences can be so beautiful and enlightening. Some firsts mean showing us a new meaning into our spiritual life... and sometimes firsts just mean that we need to hold on.

During lent I find this so true. Lent isn't a first to us, but during every lent no matter how many times we have given up soda, candy texting or whatever... It is the first time we will experience that lent in this way. You obviously were chosen to give it up during that time for a reason. Who knows the reason but the first is there, it is all a first experience of how the Lord wants you to experience this Lent, this time in the desert.




__________________________________________________
Pregnancy:

+She's growing, kicking, moving and loving life. Well thats what we believe to be true.
+She is the size of a head of lettuce!
+Still trying to chose a name, but that has been put on hold for now. We will determine it when we meet her!
+Craving...sushi, and California foods that I obviously can't have because I live so far away.
+

goodbyes

Goodbyes have always been hard for me. Goodbyes are worse when you are the only one that knows that this goodbye could be your last for a long time. Goodbyes are especially hard when you are saying goodbye to your childhood home, to the place that you grew up in for 17 years. To the town you got married in. To the niece and nephews you love so dearly.

Of course it was hard after we got married, to up and move my life to PA, but I was with my best friend, my confidant, the love of my life. I would do anything for him, so moving to PA was easier. 

This was my last visit to CA for a long time. This was my last time to see my niece and nephews for a long time. 

The events that are to come, they are for the better. The events to come are going to produce such beauty and goodness. The events that are to come are to help and ease life. The events that are to come are something that I am so blessed and so proud of. Who knew what is to come could be so hard, yet so beautiful. 

The Lord has a plan, the Lord has a plan and I will be back to my ole stomping grounds. But the Lord’s plan is so much more grand and more beautiful than anything that I could have ever dreamt up. here's to new adventures. 

Moving. starting anew. move into lent so that you can start anew. 

venial sins

today in class we were starting to really dive into the sacraments. First up: Reconciliation. A lot of my students are making their first reconciliation in 3 weeks, but boy today I got called out and humbled more than words can say.

When discussing what a venial and mortal sin is, most would say a venial is a less offensive sin but it still hurts God, yet he still loves us and forgives us. A mortal sin is a very severe sin. Yes, yes. Well, we were brainstorming, I broke the information down so that it was understandable by 7 and 8 year olds. As I looked around the room and called on various students the last student I called on raised her hand and said, "A venial sin is like a sickness to our heart." I paused and told her that that was an excellent response, one I am sure she has no idea the depth to. A sickness to the heart. Wow, I have to say I am getting myself to confession as soon as I can due to those words. I have never thought of sin in those terms. I always considered confession something important and something that should be held to a high standard. Do I go as much as I would like to? No, and that is definitely my fault. But now, those words, "a sickness to the heart" are going to stick with me every day, and drive me to go to confession.

go to confession. get your heart healed, by the divine healer.







_____________________________________________________________________________
Pregnancy update:

Craving: Chocolate, hot chocolate, chocolate with carmel, chocolate shell ice cream,  dr. pepper
(yes I feel like a fat kid)

Feeling: Yes, Feeling her kick and occasionally do some flips and move around. She is quite the mover but mostly at night and when we want her to move, she wont.

Determined: This little girl is stubborn, she is going to be more loved than words can express, she has to be in something active because she has a fierce pair of legs on her.

Healthy: Both of us are healthy and not having any complications. I was prescribed pilates/yoga to help with stress. I thought the dr. was joking. He wasn't.

Bigger: Yes, day by day I definitely can see a difference. A student ran into my stomach last week without realizing, I had to discuss with him how he needs to be aware of his surroundings because Mrs. Imms is only going to get bigger from here on out. ha, oh the discussions i have.

Christopher: finally felt the baby kick! He was very excited and couldn't believe it. Then he stared at my stomach as he watched it bulge out every few seconds and thought it looked like an alien.

January 30, 2013: the first time a total stranger noticed I was pregnant and said something. Said something nice.

January 26, 2013: While in a bar got a total stare down and an avoidance of eye contact. It was epic to say the least.

names: not decided, well maybe we are. who knows.

totally in love: completely and utterly. no words can describe.

seasons

Friendships are like seasons, they come and they go. But there are some friends that stay, and I have to say I couldn't be more grateful for them in my life, honestly.

But I find it so interesting that when you thought some friendships may be over for the long haul. That maybe they were no longer meant to be in your life. That their friendship was hurting you more than it was helping you, so it was time to call it quits. Well I find it funny that the Lord has a way of putting those people back in your life. Just at a different time, a different season.

I know that with some of these friends, we may never be what we used to be due to our different life paths. But we used to be inseparable, we used to tell each other everything, we used to call each others moms mom. Those types of things were all gone with the blink of an eye. Sometimes we think maturity needs to take place, sometimes you feel as if things are toxic, and sometimes too much time is being asked of you. But I love the fact that old friendships never really seem to fade. The love and desire to stay close and share those pieces of your heart will always be there and stay with you.

Some wise family friends once told me that when you get somewhere new that you will truly only have one set of forever friends, you just have to search for them, think about it and decide if this is who the Lord wants you to share your family with. It has been on my heart lately so much, and it couldn't ring more true. Each new season of your life brings new friends and new forever friends.

All the friends we have now, have been apart of our life just at different seasons. It's like each set of friends is connect the dots but connect the dots of our lives. When you look back you see that each set of friends is part of a new season and I couldn't be more grateful for those people that have been apart of all of the seasons of my life, and for those that are apart of this season.

Praise God for awesome friends, and for those that are coming back around.

child like faith

Even though I find myself at a phenomenal school with such amazing families. Some families are hit and misses. Like they are just missing some of the key details. You know when you are doing a puzzle? Then you get to the very end and there are 10 pieces missing and those are the most key and integral parts to the puzzle to make it come together and look beautiful! Well, it frustrates me when parents hinder the beauty and the potential of that puzzle, the puzzle being their children. But I wonder how much they are truly missing, not just mentally and medically... spiritually. 

All I want to do is love these kids. All I want is for them to keep teaching me more than I could teach them. All I want is for the parents to sit back and see that their kids have the key... the key to true and real faith. Daily I am blown away at the childlike faith in my classroom. I find myself wondering where they thought of this prayer request or how they came up with that response. After talking to parents, it was never their words, they never helped their thought process. Isn't that the most beautiful thing ever. That children have such a close relationship with the Lord, have so much trust in their guardian angels, have no idea that in 15 years they will be talking about childlike faith and how to have a faith like that. 

Sometimes I laugh at seeing how similar and different parents are to their children. I don't think these parents have stepped back and realized what amazing examples their children really are.

 I have always heard that our main goal should be to get our loved ones to heaven, do you realize that the children around you are just trying to teach you to help lead you to heaven? 

Child.like.faith. 

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.

nothing much to say.

I don't have much to say this week besides a pregnancy update.

-I am officially 20 weeks today.

-We are having a girl!!

-Physically: I feel great finally! Back pains though because of stress are the pits.

-We just may have picked a name... but we aren't telling

-I am more forgetful than someone could ever imagine. Christopher jokes that the baby's brain is the only one that works now.

Cravings: Chocolate, mostly mr. goodbars. and chips.

grateful: for the four people that have made my wardrobe fabulous: Susie, Mary Grace, my mother in law and my mama.  seriously, I have never been more excited about clothes. But there is something about the whole growing a human and looking huge aspect that makes fitting into clothes and feeling good about it a whole new talent.

All I know is that this little girl is going to be so dang loved. The extended family, that would be all of our friends, is crazy and how excited friends are about this.

WE can't wait to meet her and to share her with the world!!